Deep Personal Harm and Quiet Healing: How Art Became a Safe Space for Recovery?
- Dr Pranita Rao
- 13 hours ago
- 6 min read
A Raw Truth About Deep Personal Harm
Sorry, guys! This one's going to be raw and blunt. Please read it with a blanky by your side and a warm cup of tea, because you will be reading about my deep personal harm experience, which could trigger something in you or heal something for you.
When I was younger, I came across some subtle sexual abusers in my life, which was traumatising, yes, but it also led to stuffing my traumas within me.
When I grew up, I thought the world would be different.
However, it wasn't.
It was still abusive, at least parts of it were, and I couldn't understand why I was repeatedly attracting narcissistic and complex abusive situations.
When Healing Spaces Cause Harm
I remember working with a healer a few years ago who told me that I had abused someone in my past lives, which could have resulted in abuse today. Her words were, 'you did this before, that is why this is happening to you now'. And may I say, her tone wasn't particularly healing, and her words weren't coming from a place of compassion for my emotional trauma.
After visiting many healers, coaches, and guides, I concluded that there is something that I am missing here. Does it really have to be my fault all the time?
Why can't we all be part of an experiment where people are affected by sudden disasters and possibly continuous disasters for no fault of their own?
Please feel free to dump this truth in the dustbin if it doesn't resonate with you. It is my truth, and it doesn't have to be yours: When I accepted this truth, I stopped attracting too many abusive situations and 'spiritual gurus' who did nothing but place blame right back at me.
Art as a Safe Place to Heal
Things got even better when I began releasing my emotions of sexual abuse and emotional trauma using art. I don't suggest sensitive souls follow me without being guided by their own intuition. However, I thought of sharing my truth, hoping that it helps others in the same situation as I was a few years ago.
When I began acknowledging my emotions with art, I felt as though I was finally able to find a space that was held for me, truly for me.
With art, I felt as though my canvas was able to understand my needs and my emotions. I didn't even have to explain my trauma (which can be quite traumatising in itself). I would sit with a canvas paper and allow my emotions to surface, slowly and in ways that suited my nervous system.
Sexual abuse can affect different layers of our energy body. If we are sensitive, I intuit that we can be more affected by someone who isn't sensitive (P.S. - I am highly sensitive, so please know that I am not taking a dig at sensitive individuals). When we don't acknowledge the unhealed energy in our organs or energy body, we can end up having physical health problems too.
So, it is important to acknowledge our emotional health challenges caused by traumas or traumas related to healing traumas too.
For example, in my situation, it was important for me to heal my sexual abuse trauma and also the trauma caused by 'spiritual gurus' who caused emotional trauma due to their incompetence as healers or coaches.
I had come to a point, wherein, I became exhausted of going to other coaches and healers for support. Which is why I am grateful to art.
There was no human involved in my practise. It was just my canvas, paints, and me. I didn't have to trust myself to trust the right person. I didn't have to take a risk of investing in someone who would possibly cause more emotional health problems for me. More importantly, I didn't have to find safety in sharing extremely delicate information with someone else.
And, that my friend, felt safe.
As I began painting my emotions, I realised that slowly I was able to be compassionate with myself. I was able to express my true feelings, opinions, and fears in my art. There was literally no one to judge me, correct me, or tell me that I made a mistake and subtly tell me that I deserved to be punished.
As I write this post, I empathise with myself, especially when I would express my sexual trauma with others. And in doing so, I also empathise with other sensitive individuals who have had similar experiences to mine.
However, I also know that art can help us.
I've seen it replace a coach, healer, spiritual guide, guru, and even a therapist.
As I write this post, I also realise that I am hurting my pockets by being raw, as I am also a coach for sensitive individuals and advocate for human support.
However, this space is made for full transparency; hence, I didn't want to hold back, despite the conflicting truths of our society.
So, my dear reader, if you need to acknowledge your sexual trauma or emotional health challenges, I encourage you to do it.
And if you wish to do it without a human, please give yourself the permission to do so.
But, I do hope you think of art as a space that will listen to you.
Please include art in your quiet healing, as it will only enrich it and allow you to heal in silence. And if that's what you need, then so be it.
If you try painting or any form of art and feel like you are enjoying processing your sexual trauma and emotional health challenges through art, please keep going!
And if you ever feel that you are ready to heal with a human being, I hope you know that I am a Calendly booking away from you :).
Also, I want to emphasize that working with art and traumas by oneself can be challenging and triggering too. So, please try acknowledging your traumas with care and delicacy. My suggestion is that to please use art as a healing tool only if you're guided by your intuition.
That's how I started off.
And, I am sending you lots of love and hugs for your challenges.
Please be compassionate with yourself, and please tell yourself that it was never your fault.
Now!
(Watery eyes emoji)
I wanted to sign off as 'with empathy, Pranita'. However, I will stay true to the essence of this post and continue being raw.
-With aggressive negation towards abusive conditions for individuals and genders globally,
Pranita
Word count - 1260
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